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Episode 14: A Facile Fossil

The Podcaster's Warehouse

June 16, 2026 · 1 hr 4 min

How can you be shorter than someone who's the same height as you? Get ready for Training Day. Tony still buys the 'bloids and shares Gary's Birthday Horoscope. Oh yes! It's Gary's birthday! Let joy be unconfined. Plus, psychic raccoons, Byron Allen,…

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[SPEAKER_07]: All right, on today's episode of You gotta be kidding me, somebody's celebrating a birthday.

[SPEAKER_07]: And I love what she's wearing.

[SPEAKER_07]: Ha ha ha.

[SPEAKER_07]: Also, the ratings are in, what are you here with?

[SPEAKER_07]: Uh, I have an email.

[SPEAKER_07]: The subject line is massive relief.

[SPEAKER_07]: That sounds messy.

[SPEAKER_07]: Messy.

[SPEAKER_07]: That sounds messy.

[SPEAKER_07]: And episode four of the amazing return of Sally and Junior.

[SPEAKER_07]: They are my favorite.

[SPEAKER_07]: Yes, I know they are.

[SPEAKER_07]: All of that I'm more on this episode of You gotta be kidding me.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's you gotta be kidding me, with Tony Perkins and the Aries stuff.

[SPEAKER_01]: No, they're not related, it's just good friends.

[SPEAKER_01]: And now, here's Tony and Gary.

[SPEAKER_07]: Yes indeed boys and girls ladies and gentlemen welcome to yet another episode of you got to be kidding me I'm Tony Perkins.

[SPEAKER_05]: I'm Gary Stein I'm so happy to be me.

[SPEAKER_05]: I just you know I'm getting a bigger kick out of being me right now than I ever was when I was you you enjoy being you

[SPEAKER_02]: I'm glad it's you being you.

[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just saying that because that leaves Tony and I open to do other things Yes, but I would be happy to be you too, but I prefer I prefer me.

[SPEAKER_02]: We must talk about it for the show You would not be a happy I'm from rock B-wack everybody Yeah, it just wasn't just show.

[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't I didn't necessarily mean to but you know Nobody's not to be cordial

[SPEAKER_02]: have a great.

[SPEAKER_07]: No wait wait don't go.

[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, since you're here.

[SPEAKER_07]: Um, what's going on with what I've got questions for both of you, Rob, I'll start with you.

[SPEAKER_07]: Oh, stop.

[SPEAKER_07]: Stop, I'm already okay.

[SPEAKER_07]: What's with the Brown bag back where that is just a blanket.

[SPEAKER_02]: So you don't see the bunk bed I've been sleeping in at my dad's place in the eastern shore.

[SPEAKER_02]: I wish that was a better answer, but I don't

[SPEAKER_05]: Rob, don't you think the bunk bed would look better than like this looks like a blanket that you'd be using under Rebridge.

[SPEAKER_02]: No, I think it looks more like like maybe And a lot of that thing for maybe gomerpile usmc.

[SPEAKER_02]: It has sort of an army job utilitarian look and no because this is a bunk bed Mostly meant for grandchildren.

[SPEAKER_02]: There's lots of stuffed animals.

[SPEAKER_02]: I'm afraid it would pose more questions than I'd answered

[SPEAKER_07]: So we can supply the kids.

[SPEAKER_07]: We can supply the kids.

[SPEAKER_07]: So you're literally staying in a bunk bed while you're your father's place.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because the place where we normally, there's a bigger bed upstairs, but the air conditioning is broken upstairs, and it's a bit toasty.

[SPEAKER_05]: And I just ask a delicate question.

[SPEAKER_05]: Sorry, I interrupted you.

[SPEAKER_05]: I'm so sorry.

[SPEAKER_05]: And I mean this in the best of all possible ways, but are you a top or a bottom?

[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'm a bottom, but I'm a power of honor.

[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, all right, thanks for stopping by you guys invited me in.

[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know I don't remember I know you you invited him and I didn't know you know I didn't invite him in okay full clarity I'm busted and but you invited me to stay So now I'm right one now.

[SPEAKER_05]: We're inviting you to I thought he would never leave real And Mr. Stein so is this a green screen?

[SPEAKER_07]: Are you oh you're in a different spot too?

[SPEAKER_05]: I am.

[SPEAKER_05]: I was kidnapped.

[SPEAKER_05]: So my wife and I. Yeah, my wife and I.

[SPEAKER_05]: Well, I do now.

[SPEAKER_05]: Don't you're knocking my wife's grandmother's house, okay?

[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_05]: So so her uncle Dave.

[SPEAKER_05]: they're only two remaining siblings of Sarah's mother and Uncle Dave owns this house.

[SPEAKER_07]: All right, on today's episode of You gotta be kidding me, somebody's celebrating a birthday. [SPEAKER_07]: And I love what she's wearing. [SPEAKER_07]: Ha ha ha. [SPEAKER_07]: Also, the ratings are in, what are you here with? [SPEAKER_07]: Uh, I have an email. [SPEAKER_07]: The subject line is massive relief. [SPEAKER_07]: That sounds messy. [SPEAKER_07]: Messy. [SPEAKER_07]: That sounds messy. [SPEAKER_07]: And episode four of the amazing return of Sally and Junior. [SPEAKER_07]: They are my favorite. [SPEAKER_07]: Yes, I know they are. [SPEAKER_07]: All of that I'm more on this episode of You gotta be kidding me. [SPEAKER_01]: It's you gotta be kidding me, with Tony Perkins and the Aries stuff. [SPEAKER_01]: No, they're not related, it's just good friends. [SPEAKER_01]: And now, here's Tony and Gary. [SPEAKER_07]: Yes indeed boys and girls ladies and gentlemen welcome to yet another episode of you got to be kidding me I'm Tony Perkins. [SPEAKER_05]: I'm Gary Stein I'm so happy to be me. [SPEAKER_05]: I just you know I'm getting a bigger kick out of being me right now than I ever was when I was you you enjoy being you [SPEAKER_02]: I'm glad it's you being you. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm just saying that because that leaves Tony and I open to do other things Yes, but I would be happy to be you too, but I prefer I prefer me. [SPEAKER_02]: We must talk about it for the show You would not be a happy I'm from rock B-wack everybody Yeah, it just wasn't just show. [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't I didn't necessarily mean to but you know Nobody's not to be cordial [SPEAKER_02]: have a great. [SPEAKER_07]: No wait wait don't go. [SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, since you're here. [SPEAKER_07]: Um, what's going on with what I've got questions for both of you, Rob, I'll start with you. [SPEAKER_07]: Oh, stop. [SPEAKER_07]: Stop, I'm already okay. [SPEAKER_07]: What's with the Brown bag back where that is just a blanket. [SPEAKER_02]: So you don't see the bunk bed I've been sleeping in at my dad's place in the eastern shore. [SPEAKER_02]: I wish that was a better answer, but I don't [SPEAKER_05]: Rob, don't you think the bunk bed would look better than like this looks like a blanket that you'd be using under Rebridge. [SPEAKER_02]: No, I think it looks more like like maybe And a lot of that thing for maybe gomerpile usmc. [SPEAKER_02]: It has sort of an army job utilitarian look and no because this is a bunk bed Mostly meant for grandchildren. [SPEAKER_02]: There's lots of stuffed animals. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm afraid it would pose more questions than I'd answered [SPEAKER_07]: So we can supply the kids. [SPEAKER_07]: We can supply the kids. [SPEAKER_07]: So you're literally staying in a bunk bed while you're your father's place. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because the place where we normally, there's a bigger bed upstairs, but the air conditioning is broken upstairs, and it's a bit toasty. [SPEAKER_05]: And I just ask a delicate question. [SPEAKER_05]: Sorry, I interrupted you. [SPEAKER_05]: I'm so sorry. [SPEAKER_05]: And I mean this in the best of all possible ways, but are you a top or a bottom? [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'm a bottom, but I'm a power of honor. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, all right, thanks for stopping by you guys invited me in. [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know I don't remember I know you you invited him and I didn't know you know I didn't invite him in okay full clarity I'm busted and but you invited me to stay So now I'm right one now. [SPEAKER_05]: We're inviting you to I thought he would never leave real And Mr. Stein so is this a green screen? [SPEAKER_07]: Are you oh you're in a different spot too? [SPEAKER_05]: I am. [SPEAKER_05]: I am. [SPEAKER_05]: I am. [SPEAKER_05]: I was kidnapped. [SPEAKER_05]: So my wife and I. Yeah, my wife and I. [SPEAKER_05]: Well, I do now. [SPEAKER_05]: Don't you're knocking my wife's grandmother's house, okay? [SPEAKER_05]: Okay. [SPEAKER_05]: So so her uncle Dave. [SPEAKER_05]: they're only two remaining siblings of Sarah's mother and Uncle Dave owns this house. [SPEAKER_05]: So whenever we come up, this is just above Buffalo. [SPEAKER_05]: This is not our place in Nova Scotia. [SPEAKER_05]: We just came up for the weekend to see Uncle Dave. [SPEAKER_05]: But the bedroom is exactly as it was in 1902. [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm kidding. [SPEAKER_05]: I have no idea what you're came up that they bought it, but I have lamps That would have been old if Lincoln had them. [SPEAKER_05]: They're really old and I had to take the shades off in this bedroom Just to be able to create some bear bulb lighting, but actually look good bear bulb. [SPEAKER_05]: I look good. [SPEAKER_05]: I don't look good. [SPEAKER_07]: I don't look good bear But I do have a question about your your setting. [SPEAKER_07]: Why is the room coffin shaped? [SPEAKER_06]: It looks like the inside of a coffin. [SPEAKER_05]: Uh, no. [SPEAKER_05]: I wanted to see what what I thought things would be like when I'm gone. [SPEAKER_05]: So I climbed into a coffin in this town. [SPEAKER_05]: There was one funeral parlor and I got into a coffin and I didn't feel like getting out. [SPEAKER_05]: It's cozy. [SPEAKER_05]: He's very no. [SPEAKER_05]: So this is this was actually Sarah's mother's bed. [SPEAKER_05]: So there were five boys. [SPEAKER_05]: One girl. [SPEAKER_05]: She she three bedrooms. [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, she got her own bedroom and it was this three boys slipped in the bed room there two downstairs and Anne was the princess Sarah's mother and this was her bedroom So now when we come to visit we stay here, but this is the problem. [SPEAKER_05]: We can't really say this to Uncle Dave. [SPEAKER_05]: It's a it's a it's a it's a full size bed not just above a twin, you know, oh, oh, that's tight. [SPEAKER_05]: It's Watch it [SPEAKER_05]: Watch it. [SPEAKER_05]: Okay, I don't like the way you're talking. [SPEAKER_07]: No, no, I mean, that's a tight fit. [SPEAKER_07]: We're two. [SPEAKER_05]: We want to just stop. [SPEAKER_05]: Just stop. [SPEAKER_05]: There's no way for you to fix this. [SPEAKER_05]: You can't fix it. [SPEAKER_05]: You know, because you always just step in it. [SPEAKER_05]: You know, so anyway. [SPEAKER_05]: So Sarah and I since we first got together in the 1930s, we have been in a King size bed. [SPEAKER_05]: We've never had anything other than that. [SPEAKER_05]: So we start out together, but then we wind up in separate camps. [SPEAKER_05]: And when we're flipping during the night, because we're both restless sleepers, I never feel it. [SPEAKER_05]: here. [SPEAKER_05]: We've been here two nights. [SPEAKER_05]: I think I've slept about three hours and it's a full. [SPEAKER_07]: It's a full, you know, I don't love that. [SPEAKER_07]: But it's both, you're both, uh, how tall is there a taller than you? [SPEAKER_07]: I think so. [SPEAKER_05]: No, we're both five nine, but she's a taller five nine because I'm my legs are shorter. [SPEAKER_05]: and her legs are really long. [SPEAKER_05]: So when we walk down the street to get this is not confusing. [SPEAKER_02]: This is getting like an his king's eyes bad. [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you. [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you. [SPEAKER_05]: And now we will go to sleep. [SPEAKER_05]: So funny. [SPEAKER_05]: It's so funny because I know that I deserve that music. [UNKNOWN]: I do. [SPEAKER_05]: So. [SPEAKER_05]: So. [SPEAKER_05]: Oh my god, I mean, I've completely lost my train of thought. [SPEAKER_07]: Well, here's where you were and I'm not going to let you get away with this. [SPEAKER_07]: But I say taller 5 9 because you're like, okay, no, no, no 5 9 is 5 9. [SPEAKER_05]: Okay, why don't you just use a little bit of the imagination you were supposedly born with. [SPEAKER_05]: Look, here's the thing when we walk down the street. [SPEAKER_05]: she looks way taller because she's her legs are up to her neck. [SPEAKER_05]: They end here and I guess I have stubby legs you know I mean so I I'm all torso and so she's I'm just saying that she gives off the image [SPEAKER_05]: of a larger of a taller person. [SPEAKER_05]: All are called. [SPEAKER_05]: You're just being very literal for a creative person. [SPEAKER_05]: That's unusual and not correct. [SPEAKER_07]: I think if you're walking down the street and she appears to be taller, yes, she's taller. [SPEAKER_05]: This is how literally you are. [SPEAKER_05]: You know, don't use that logical side of your brain that's the size of a P. Use the other side and I keep getting the image. [SPEAKER_02]: We're ignoring one problem here and it is why he's watching the show on YouTube because Gary is not God's stubby legs. [SPEAKER_02]: He's a fine looking good. [SPEAKER_02]: He's a fine looking man and he's every better five nine. [SPEAKER_02]: You just describe yourself like a troll. [SPEAKER_05]: No, I give off the image of Billy Barty if he was alive, but he's not. [SPEAKER_05]: No, I don't look short, but she looks really tall. [SPEAKER_05]: Can we start over? [SPEAKER_07]: And by the way, stubby legs was a fantastic volunteer performance. [SPEAKER_06]: I never missed a show. [SPEAKER_07]: Never missed a show. [SPEAKER_07]: Stubby legs was in town. [SPEAKER_07]: You wanted to, you wanted to check him out. [SPEAKER_05]: Okay, he was so he was so good in guys and dolls. [SPEAKER_05]: He didn't even watch. [SPEAKER_07]: Look that way. [SPEAKER_07]: Look at the doll. [SPEAKER_05]: Look at the doll. [SPEAKER_07]: He did. [SPEAKER_07]: Now, I, I, I do one more question. [SPEAKER_07]: And again, if you're listening. [SPEAKER_07]: I'm so tired. [SPEAKER_05]: If you're questions already. [SPEAKER_07]: Or apologies. [SPEAKER_07]: You got to check us out on YouTube. [SPEAKER_07]: You got to be kidding me. [SPEAKER_07]: Just look for that. [SPEAKER_07]: Um, is the ceiling low, because I know an older homes when people were shorter. [SPEAKER_07]: I'm just curious, you look like you're in a submarine. [SPEAKER_07]: If you really want to see it low, bring Sarah in. [SPEAKER_06]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha [SPEAKER_05]: Apparently you would like a different partner. [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know what happened. [SPEAKER_05]: We were doing it for 25 years. [SPEAKER_05]: We've been doing so well. [SPEAKER_05]: Obviously it's over. [SPEAKER_05]: It's all over, you know. [SPEAKER_05]: But very few clips. [SPEAKER_05]: So, so, oh my god. [SPEAKER_05]: So yeah, I don't think I look short, but she just looks taller than me when you walk down the street. [SPEAKER_07]: We'll move along. [SPEAKER_07]: I do have something wonderful to say to you. [SPEAKER_07]: And I mean, you know, [SPEAKER_07]: For those who don't know, since we last saw you, Gary has had a birthday happy birthday to you. [SPEAKER_05]: Thank you. [SPEAKER_05]: Thank you. [SPEAKER_05]: You know, I really do appreciate that. [SPEAKER_05]: Do you know what has been hanging all over New Jersey and New York for the last couple of days? [SPEAKER_05]: And I had nothing to do with this. [SPEAKER_07]: I'm happy birthday Gary Banners. [SPEAKER_05]: Well, it's like Marquis everywhere. [SPEAKER_05]: So I was driving down Route 3 to head to the Lincoln Tunnel. [SPEAKER_05]: This was on at least 8 or 9 Banners I thought. [SPEAKER_05]: You know, on the way and I thought people spent a lot of money to just I think it's probably some of our fan It's beautiful and Lo

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